Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday: How to navigate the storm

It was the Ripcurl Pro Bells Beach, 1995. I was preparing to paddle out for a heat against Pam Burridge when a sense of panic overcame me…”What if I get a paddling interference?” This was extremely unusual so instead of honouring the fear I pushed it down and denied it with a dismissive thought of “That won’t happen.” With 5 minutes to go I was winning the heat and then made a fatal paddling error, interfering with Pam which instantly resulted in a paddling interference and disqualification from the heat, and ultimately the entire event. I was devastated!! By failing to honour my “what if” and replacing it with “what is”, I manifested exactly what I didn’t want! 

Worries, doubts, and anxieties are a natural part of life, but when they consume our thoughts and overshadow our daily experiences, they can become a burden. I want to explore the notion of chronic worry and anxiety with you, and provide some practical strategies for regaining control of our worried minds. By understanding the true nature of worrying and learning to shift our focus, we can find peace amidst the storm and embrace a more balanced and fulfilling life.

The Nature of Worry: Understanding its Purpose and Impact

Don’t worry, I’m not here to flog a ‘guru’ mantra that suggests life can be worry-free. We all worry.

It’s commonplace to worry about an unpaid bill, an upcoming job interview, hosting family and friends at Christmas time, even just catching up with an old friend can bring about a level of stress and anxiety that isn’t useful.

Acknowledging that worrying is a common experience and an innate response to life’s challenges is the first step I want you to take today.

But there is an important distinction to point out here: between ‘helpful worry’ that spurs problem-solving and ‘chronic worry’ that becomes a hindrance.

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to act and solve a problem. However, if you have ever found yourself preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry stops being an ally and starts being paralytic.

Where do you need to shift your attention? The “what is”.

What If’s have a knack of sabotaging our confidence by projecting our thoughts into an uncertain future – what if I can’t cope, what if they don’t like me, what if I’m not good enough? This is where we can shift our attention to what is! “What Is” brings our attention back to the moment and our locus of control. If you notice yourself thinking “what if I can’t cope”? Bring your attention back to what you are currently coping with. What if they don’t like me? Change this to “I am likeable and quite honestly, what they think says more about them than it does about me”! “What if I’m not good enough”? Shift this thinking to what you are – “I’m a fast learner, able to think quickly on my feet, and willing to learn as I go.”

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make people, places and things more threatening than they really are.

I’m sure some of you may even believe that worrying protects you in some way, or equate worry with being responsible and caring. Yes, that may be true, for instance, if you are a parent worrying about the safety of your child before they go off to their first social event.

But in order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up the belief that your worrying serves a positive purpose.

Research shows that while we’re worrying, we temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in our head distracts us from our emotions and makes us feel like we’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem-solving are two very different things.

Problem-solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them in the event they actually happen.

Three simple steps to hit pause on anxious thoughts

Peace amidst the storm is possible. Here are three techniques that I’ve found useful in my own journey to reclaim control of my worried mind:

1) Deep breathing: This is where you focus on your breathing and take deep, slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. It can help to bring much-needed oxygen to your brain, reduce stress hormones, and downregulate your nervous system, particularly in moments of heightened stress and anxiety. The Box breath is a technique I swear by and is a daily practice of mine.

2) Journaling: Writing can be a powerful tool for calming worries and identifying solutions from a different perspective. Whenever I face something that feels overwhelming, I often turn to my journal and start writing. It helps me to process what’s going on in my mind. We created our very own Awake Academy Journal to help you assess your feelings each day, to be more present and self-aware. Using the Awake Academy Journal myself, I’m able to plan and prioritise my tasks, commit time to exercise and consciously remind myself to practise gratitude. I believe you can too!

3) Talking it out: Sharing your fears and anxieties with someone you trust can be a great source of relief. A friend or family member who understands and listens objectively can be invaluable for helping you gain greater insight into your worries and find potential solutions.

Talking about your worries and anxieties with a trusted confidant is beneficial for several reasons. Firstly, it helps to alleviate any feelings of isolation or helplessness that often come with worrying. Knowing that someone is in your corner and that you don’t have to go through difficult times alone can be truly comforting.

Secondly, talking out loud allows us to gain clarity, or further clarity on the thoughts we may have journaled about. We may find that by sharing our worries, our problems don’t seem quite so insurmountable and we can identify solutions more easily.

Recognise the Illusion of Control

The beauty of life is that anything can happen – both the good and the bad no matter how much we worry about it. Worrying doesn’t change outcomes, but it can certainly take away the joy of living in the present moment.

Worrying may feel like a productive response to life’s uncertainties, but in reality, it often perpetuates anxiety and distracts us from finding real solutions. By acknowledging the limitations of worry and implementing practical strategies such as mindfulness, problem-solving, and self-expression, we can break free from the grip of chronic worry and regain control of our minds.

Once you realise that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can turn off anxious thoughts, regain control of your worried mind and find calm in the midst of the storm.

Layne xx