Breaking Free from Comparison: How to Truly Back Yourself and Thrive
What does success look like to you?
That’s not a rhetorical question. Stop and write down and answer before you continue reading.
My answer? Empowering 1 million lives by cultivating connection, growth and happiness in humanity.
Have you written it down? On we go.
Many of us rarely take the time to sit with our thoughts and identify our goals and values, it’s easy to get caught up in the game of comparison. We constantly measure ourselves against others, whether it’s through social media, our careers, or even our personal relationships. And while some healthy competition can be motivating and push us to achieve our goals, too much comparison can have a detrimental effect on our mental health and wellbeing.
The Pitfalls of Comparison and Lack of Acceptance
Think about it – every time we compare ourselves to someone else, or to other versions of yourself, we are essentially telling ourselves that we are not good enough. We are focusing on what we perceive as our flaws and shortcomings, rather than celebrating our unique strengths and accomplishments. This vicious cycle of constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression.
On the other hand, when we lack self-acceptance and constantly strive for perfection, we set ourselves up for failure. We become so focused on achieving an unattainable standard that we overlook our own progress and growth. We start to believe that if we just had what someone else has or looked a certain way, then we would finally be happy and successful.
So How Do We Break Free from Comparison?
First and foremost, we must learn to accept ourselves for who we are. That means celebrating our strengths, accepting our flaws, and acknowledging that we are all unique individuals on our own journeys. It also means recognising that success looks different for everyone – what brings fulfilment and happiness to one person may not necessarily bring the same to another.
Secondly, we must shift our focus from external validation to internal motivation. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, let’s use their successes and achievements as inspiration and motivation for our own goals. Let’s focus on personal growth and progress, rather than competing with others.
And most importantly, let’s practise self-compassion and kindness towards ourselves. We are human beings, not machines, and we are allowed to make mistakes and have setbacks. Instead of beating ourselves up for not being perfect, let’s learn from our experiences and use them to become stronger and more resilient.
The Real Measure of Success
At the end of the day, success is not about how much money we make or how many awards we win. It’s about living a fulfilling and purposeful life, making a positive impact on the world and the people around us. And most importantly, it’s about being proud of who we are and what we have accomplished, without constantly comparing ourselves to others.
If you have struggled or are struggling with yourself right now, know that you are not alone. We all have our own inner battles, but they do not define us. The world needs more of our authentic selves, not carbon copies of others.
Your Definition of Success: Key Questions to Ponder
Defining success is a deeply personal process, one that can significantly benefit from introspection and self-awareness. To guide you on this journey of self-discovery, consider these questions and try to answer them in your journaling:
- What moments in your life have brought you the most joy and fulfilment? Reflecting on these instances can reveal what you truly value beyond societal measures of success.
- When do you feel most like yourself? The activities, environments, or people that make you feel most aligned with your true self can be indicators of where your passions and success may lie.
- What are your intrinsic motivations? Understanding what drives you internally, rather than external rewards, can help clarify what success means to you.
- How do you define balance in your life, and how does success fit into this balance? Success is often closely tied to one’s sense of balance and well-being; recognising this can illuminate what a successful life looks like for you.
- How does your definition of success contribute to your sense of purpose and happiness? Success takes on a whole new meaning when it contributes to something greater than ourselves. Consider what legacy you want to leave behind and use that as a guiding force for your definition of success.
Remember, the answers to these questions are as unique as you are. They serve as a compass, directing you towards your own version of success, unswayed by comparison to others. Empower yourself by owning your answers and using them as the foundation upon which you build your success.
Breaking free from comparison and harnessing the power of self-acceptance are not overnight endeavours. We must remember that true success lies in embracing our unique selves and defining it on our own terms. So let’s stop comparing and start celebrating ourselves – because we are enough, just the way we are.
You’ve got this!
LB.
